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College DrinkingAwakening to the singe of the morning light
My head pulses with a raging fury
And I position myself up on my side
Staring into the eyes of my best friend
Knowing that he made sure I'd be fine.
DrowningThrashing wildly whilst constricted by the arms of chlorine-filled water
I know I should help my friends
But the adrenaline & desire for a breath of air is too strong for me to even care..
I'm drowning, my mind pleas
Even though there is no one to listen to these silent screams.
I'm going to die here
Surrounded by people who are too consumed in their own lives to care about us three
And with a raging heart
But then the images of my friends flash before my eyes as I inhale the cause of my panicking
All of them smiling
Except for the one whose heart belongs to someone else...
Trippin'I shut my eyes
Guided by your voice yet again
The phone pressed to my ear
My mouth gaping open
Like I'm breathing fire.
Whatever you command
I shall do
But it's all for you
All for you..
I see demons in the atmosphere
Head-banging T-rexes on my wall
Jeff the Killer staring into my soul as he lingers in the shadows
Your hands against my shoulders.
I want to scream
But it'll wake my parents up.
I want to hide
But I'm not a pussy.
I want to break something
But I'm not that much of a madwoman.
I can stay up all night
And listen to your perverted jokes
That our other friends would be traumatized from
I can laugh like a weasel
At anything you say
I can make noises for you
And listen to you say, "Damn."
But on the other end of the phone
I seem so normal
My imagination is taking over this sadistic reality I live in
And making it worse.
So I hold on by the thread
That is your voice
Hoping that you'll pull me back up to the surface of sanity
And that you won't let me fa
HimHe plays video games past twelve
He sleeps until I call him
He laughs like he's from heaven
He smiles with the grin of a million dollar man.
I wonder if he ever kissed a girl
I wonder if he ever died for someone
I wonder if he ever saw past my façade
I wonder if he ever found the pieces of my battered heart.
The way he makes us chortle
The way he makes us shine
The way he makes us happy
The way he makes us safe.
Maybe if he hadn't been so perfect
Maybe if he hadn't been so tainted
Maybe if he hadn't been so powerful
Maybe he wouldn't be here at all..
He stops playing video games once he's tired
He stays awake until I sleep
He cries like he's fallen from the sky
He glares with the glower of a broken man.
Sweet Confessions"When I asked for your hand at the beginning of the year
It was because
I wanted to know what it would be like if we ever held hands.."
DifferentMaybe someone loves me
But I still sit upon this throne of ash
Knowing that I have a chance to reach out & try to become something I'm not...
I could be a homewrecker
I could be a popular girl
I could be a slut,
Though I don't even know how.
Perhaps all of this bad luck I've obtained could just go away
If I was someone else to these people I will never quite understand.
Maybe I could actually get love in return for my efforts
And then watch it all go down in flames.
I could cause hearts that don't belong to me shatter
I could send guys to their demise
I could drive them insane;
Though that doesn't sound like me at all..
But that's the point, isn't it?
Queen Without A CrownI stand alone
My pair of cold, narrowed eyes scouring the rubble around me
Those black leather boots of mine clinging to my feet
As I hum a song of sorrow.
It tastes like whiskey,
The polluted air.
I'm addicted to being an outlaw
Because I've got hardly any responsibilities.
But since I know how to survive
I won't be broken & bruised for being myself any longer.
It's bittersweet love that he conveys
Because in reality,
It doesn't exist.
But I'm still restless for it
As though the one I love can hear the lies that spew from my mouth
Lies are deadly.
And he'll just act as though it's nothing.
But this time, he died
And I trek through this nightmare with his final words racking against my brain
Though I'm not looking back
And I'm not regretting anything.
Cherry chapstick buried in the school grounds
Plastic merging with the earth
Everything is withering
So will you be there for the funeral?
I know it's a sin
To be standin' in the rain
With lust on my mind
But I can't help it
Drive Them DownTo ask your victim how it felt to be tortured
Is like driving a person down the chute of madness yet again.
a youth without flowerswake up, dress in your sunday best - that white church dress with the ribbon collar wound tight like a noose around your neck. don't wince when mamma pulls your hair back into twin tails, even though your scalp feels like it'll split open.
get in the car. wonder why your uncle is driving the family car down wheezy roads, but only wonder silently. from the back seat you see his fat old stomach wobble as the ford jostles down a gravel road toward church. apologize to mamma when your head smacks into the window - it's your fault, anyway.
smile like your daddy is the preacher, but don't seem too happy. mamma told you that today is a sad day. this thought rattles around in your tiny head; it doesn't make sense. how can the sky be as blue as a bird's belly on a sad day? there aren't many clouds in the sky.
don't fuss when mamma pulls you away from the kids playing ball underneath the big oak tree. she's only doing that to help you - you wouldn't want those pretty black shoes to get scuffed,
Blood Regent: FaithfulThe beads were cold on his fingertips. The old brick of the church smelled of mold; corroded by the decades of winds breezing up from the loch.
“O my God, I am heartfully sorry for having offended thee,” he rolled the bead along the edge of his finger. The words spilled from his lips, memorized but still genuine. He lifted the stick until the candle finally breathed flame.
“- and I detest all my sins because of Thy just punishment, but most of all because I have offended Thee my God…”
“Garrett,” a voice called from behind him.
“- Who is all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve…”
“Garrett, haven’t you asked enough?” Garrett felt a hand brush his shoulder. His scar rubbed against the cloth and the feeling was unpleasant.
“That is the point of repentance, Duncan. It will never be enough. Leave me to my prayers, please.”
Garrett watched Duncan’s shadow dance across the walls. He p
Death followed my father home.Death bought a new pair of shoes from my father. It left and hit a woman right in front of my father’s store. It dragged her thirty feet across the parking lot before speeding off, leaving her to bleed in front of Target. It brought my father out of his shoe store to direct traffic around the body, blood trickling against his shoes. It tapped the shoulder of an employee with CPR training. It got blood all over his clothes and sent him home early for the day when there was nothing he could do.
Death followed my father home. It called my father’s cell phone with an invitation he couldn’t turn down. It put a new playlist in my father’s Pandora shuffle that brought him to tears. It picked out the finest formal wear my father owned and laid it on the bed. It cancelled the plans my father had with his grandson.
Death gave my nephew an empty balloon. My father took it away before he could choke. It wheezed a skeletal laugh and patted the boy on the head.
Generations - Through the Years1956
“So tell me, do you think I can get away with this on the beach at Nice?”
Helen Forbes looked over at her daughter and said “I don’t know – you don’t think it shows a little too much?”
Katherine smiled as she looked at herself in the mirror. “Nah – I don’t think so,” she said with a smile. The sleeveless white blouse was open at the neck, the lapel folded back, and her red shorts had little pockets at the front. Her outfit was completed with a pair of white heeled sandals.
“I still think it’s a little showy,” Helen said as she went back to packing her daughter’s case. Her mother was wearing a blue blouse, the neck open and the lapels pressed back, and a knee length red cotton skirt that buttoned up the front, with white open toed shoes.
“Come on Mum – what did you wear when you were my age?”
“Short dresses, long socks and pigtails,”
SethEn la oscuridad del origen del mundo definí mi destino
La llave de la verdad yace enterrada en lo profundo de mi alma
Mi sangre inerte clama por el conocimiento perdido.
HauntedAs the apartment door shut behind Melliene she turned, looking back at it. It was difficult for her to leave that apartment a second time in such a rush but it had to be done. She knew herself too well to know that if she stayed any longer that things wouldn't have gotten accomplished. A sigh left her lips as she breathed into the white scarf that was drawn over her face, and neck, concealing her identity, as she tore herself from Nallaen's door.
Descending the stairs of the apartment building she passed one fellow, nodding her head in greeting. Dressed as this, hidden, and garbed in white silken robes of the Light she was no longer Melliene. She was Greer Rosach, a woman of the Cathedral. A kind woman. A good woman. Everything Melliene was not. Sometimes she wished for Greer to become a reality for her, to put an end to her hazardous ways. It didn't matter how much she hid behind the mask though. She would always be Melliene. A selfish woman. A woman who knew no bounds. A woman who wo
~*Would Be Better*~The darkness closes
The final leaves flutter and fall
What a perfect way-
Perfect way to end it all
The tale has been told
Starting with a sweet love song-
Followed by the cold
Cold, sheer truth and the one strong-
Strong fall of the heart
Even if you never love
Never play the part-
The part in which a prince comes
Even if the weather shifts
You unleash all your evil tricks
Fate bond to the life that drowns
Would be much better to do
Then to sit here now and say
“I never have loved you”
anythingHold on. No, wait, a little to the left. Smile. Moment captured. We'll hate it later. We love it now. You don't use enough exclamation marks when you talk, birdie. I know. I don't like them. You are too close for breathing. Hold my hand when we are not together. Hold my hand through walls and fallen trees. Let me live in everything you see. Let me jump from every object you glance at. Let my name ring out as a ghost when you see someone with hair like mine. Let the memory of my hands graze your mind when you see someone else's. Let nothing else be enough. And my shadow hovers over everything you are. And my voice still makes you jerk your head. And you are my first experiment, and let the sound of typing make you remember me. May the blurred silhouette against the kitchen window at 10pm when the light is long remind you of me. May you miss where your head fell against my collarbone. Scoop up burned charcoal with bare fingers and cry. Dip your guitar string calluses in the ocean and cry
dead dog julyI.
the summer heat lays limp in the city’s lap,
breathing long oppressive breaths.
it does not even lift its lolling head
to bark out hoarse indignancy
when a strange man brings the mail.
there might be heavy rain today,
brought by some swollen, murmuring cloud.
the world will whirl and howl,
then settle down,
to die a little more.
o, quickly, love,
press your back against the wall in fear
as the universe spreads her arms and
shuts her eyes
and starts to summon the end of all things.
come with me
to the place of windows full of speechless afternoon
hot windy whispers of half-formed solutions and resolutions,
sweltering sunlit meadows we’ll wander and then forget.
o quickly, love,
let’s to the season of forgetting
and unwind all of our harshest memories
and fill the universe’s mouth
with mute cotton.
i’ll whisper these words to you some evening
with all my exigency in the hand i rest on your arm—
AndromedaAmongst the darkened skies
Brightened by only starlight
Field & Sea.
Gravity is only an afterthought
Hilltops become ladders into the sky while
Inferior planets stare down upon the Earth
Jealous of such simplicity yet contemplating grandeur.
Keppler only thought of science
Linear, elliptical, movement…
Mythology had no such thoughts
Neptune & Nebulas both inhabit space
Orbiting across the lonely darkness
Probably never worried about mundane things
Questioning their existence
Right now or for all eternity such as us.
Shooting stars make us joyful while
Terminator is an otherworldly spectacle
Unknown to all those hidden in their houses
Various stars await us outside
Waiting to play like we did before
Xenagogue & inviting
Youthful but ancient curiosities.
Zenith induced euphoria continues until daylight…
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